Bundok o dagat?

Kung saan ka man mapadpad sa weekend na ito.
Bundok man o dagat.
Jologs man o elegante.
Mura man o mahal.
May kasama man o wala.
May umaalingawngaw mang &%$#! videoke o wala.
Sana matagpuan mo ang lugar kung saan mapapanatag ang iyong diwa.
Habang nakakulong ako sa bahay at may trabahong ginagawa.
Powtah.

Meantime, a reminder:
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
---Plato

That's in case your pettiness has grown beyond human comprehension.

Tsk! Hirap!

Akala niyo ba madaling kumuha ng litrato? Ang hirap ah. Tingnan niyo. Tsk.



Kuha ni Dhes Handumon

Shaggable, Yummy, Hot

Okay girls. Magsawa tayo. But I'm still not telling anyone where he volunteers. For his privacy. And mine. Bwahahahaha! Lumabas kasi kayo ng bahay.

Saturday shoot

I'm nursing painful legs. And thighs. And shoulders. And arms. And wrists. We walked for hours shooting things that moved. And those that didn't. I'm learning every time I join one of these things.

I learn that there are cute (HOT! Definitely yummy! So shaggable!) guys who volunteer for foundations that care for street kids.


That even those who promise to deliver your stuff on time need to sleep. (Ito ang mga shots na pag nahuli ka, mapapaaway ka).
Then when I needed to rest, I realized that some subjects don't require standing up. That it's okay to violate the rule of thirds.




Next week ulit. Ang sakit lang sa katawan. Parang umakyat ako sa Banahaw ulit.

Kung bakit mahina ang buto ng mga babae

Hindi nag-start si Jiminy da Cricket. Naubos na pala ang baterya. Napilitan akong mag-taxi.

Nabanggit ko sa taxi driver ang hirap ng mga kababaihan. Hindi kasi kami pinalaking may kaalaman sa ilalim ng hood ng mga sasakyan. Hindi bahagi ng mga itinuturo sa school at bahay ang ganitong bagay. Kaya naman nang ma-flat ang gulong ni Jiminy, ang solusyon ko ay napakalamya: ngumiti at magpa-cute at magmukhang kaawa-awa.

"Sabagay Manong, kahit naman alam ko kung paano magpalit ng gulong, hindi ko kayang iikot iyong mga turnilyo. Ang higpit kasi," sabi ko.
"Naku oo, kasi mahina ang braso niyong mga babae," sabi niya.
"Bakit kaya ganoon, Manong? Bakit hindi namin kaya iyong mga ganoong bagay?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Alam mo kasi, Ineng, ang buto kasi ng mga babae, natural na mahina," panimula niyang paliwanag.

(Sa puntong ito, excited na ako. Ano ang magiging argumento niya? Low bone density kumpara sa mga lalaki? Naks. Baka narinig niya sa radyo ang explanation at may bagong information.)

"Kasi, kayong mga babae, galing lang kayo sa tadyang naming mga lalaki," sabi ni Manong. "Produkto lang kayo ng buto namin, kaya hindi kayo kasing lakas namin."

Natulala ako sa argumento niya. Tapos nangiti.
Oo nga naman.
Mabuhay ka, Manong!

Ninoy at Galman

I've been reading the Sandiganbayan decision on Ninoy's case the past few days. There are details that are new to me, things I wish didn't happen, but are there, clearly stated.

"When Senator Aquino was brought on board the SWAT van ostensibly for the purpose of bringing him to the hospital for emergency treatment, it is the finding of this Court that the Senator was struck on top of the head with a blunt instrument, possibly the butt of a gun, by a member of Team Alpha, perhaps for the reason that the members of the team had thought that he was still alive and might survive."

The 178-page decision is not an easy read. There are too many details that provide a glimpse into the darkness of some souls, the evil that men can do, how a plot can bind a group, how smiles and pleasantries can be exchanged between knowing murderers and unsuspecting victim at a tarmac minutes before the crime is committed.

Maybe the wise men are right. We are here for a reason. We just have to fulfill it.

Rest in peace, Ninoy.
Rest in peace, Galman.

Branch out

I'm still too confused to string words into sentences.
Litrato na lang muna.

Four AM

I slept at 4 AM, after reading my sister's email. Not wanting to deal with it, I played computer games and read. Then went driving when I woke up at noon. I reached Gapan-Olongapo road. Why is it that I deal with these things by hitting the road?

When Rowie died, I dealt with it by taking a jeepney. Then an FX. Then another jeepney. I lost count. One ride after the other, not caring, not knowing where I was going. I thought it was unjust for a sweet girl to die so young, in such violence. She who got scared when I called and told her there was a ghost in the newsroom? She who believed the moon was blue when I said so, and she'd go outside just to check?

Someone set fire to her house and her skull was bashed in and was found so close to the door, to safety.

So I took rides to places I don't know only to reemerge into consciousness hours later and plotted my way home.

My sister says my aunt is dying, and said she doesn't know how to tell my mom. I don't know either, so the email remains unanswered.

Then I played and read and hit the road.

How do we tell our mom she'll be alone some more, decades after being an orphan and a widow on the same day?

This family keeps dying because of bullets or cancer.

I've never been back home really, after high school. I think I went home a couple of times, only to stay for the weekend. There was one time the argument between me and my mom was so bad I just stuffed my clothes in my backpack and my sockless feet into my sneakers and took the first bus I saw back to the city. I wanted to leave town as soon as I finished high school, knowing if i stayed, I'd amount to nothing.

The town where I spent part of my childhood remains a sleepy place. I did have fun there, playing on dusty roads, owning the mountain nearby while believing the tale that men on horseback stole children who strayed too far away from home and used their blood to fortify bridges.

How do we tell our mom, that she'll be alone some more? She who lost father and husband in a still-unsolved crime near a bridge where the brook still flows? She who lost a brother years ago to cancer, and the last of her siblings, again to cancer?

How do we tell her, she who cries in fear when one of us gets sick, fearful about burying another loved one?

There are no hard and fast rules. There's no perfect time for bad news.

And then there's the issue of being back to the village I've never visited the past decade or so, cutting ties with everyone.

Training

I used to hate having to stand in the middle of a room full of people all staring at me while I blabber away.
I still do.
Ang hirap talagang kumita ng dagdag na pera.
Joke lang. Masarap magturo basta hindi pasaway ang mga kasali.

Ang masarap sa out of town trainings, WALA AKO SA MAYNILA! Yipppeeeee!

This is my current happy song. This kid can write. I imagine him smiling while writing.

This space...

...................

...................

...................

is reserved for Gloria Macapagal Arroyo's apology for the latest humanitarian crisis she and her government brought upon Mindanao.


I'm too tired, too drained to even discuss your latest caper, which continues to injure, maim and kill civilians down south.
You are the most unkind, uncaring, unfeeling, unseeing, leader this nation has ever had. You taught us evil can come in small packages.
I will have no kind words for you. EVER.

Picture this

Mahabang kuwento. Eto na lang ang pictures.

There was one rock that amazed me. It really looked like a fish.

And then the playground was so wide. And there were no other guests so I had the whole place to myself. The owner would rather have peace and quiet than guests who'd disturb the peace and quiet. I like him already. (No, he's based in Manila and visits his resort thrice a year).

The wharf was destroyed by typhoon Frank but they fixed it the day I got there so I could cross over to the open sea and fish there. (You can tell they have good taste. They like me! Hahaha!)

Tapos may apat na tartol din sila. Tinangay ni Frank sa island kaya inalagaan na lang nila. There's an unexplainable joy coming face to face with creatures that are as old as dinosaurs.

Of the 40 hours I spent on the island, as much as 22 were spent fishing. I slept early and woke up early to fish. Not even work could make me that disciplined. The resort staff said they only know one other aperson who loves fishing as much as I do: their manager. Unfortunately, the old man was in Manila while I was there.

The owner being a strict nature lover, I wasn't allowed to use sinkers. It might destroy the corals, they said. I had to be creative if I wanted my line to go farther. (Ang bait ko!)

I came up with a brilliant idea: I looked for shells with holes in them and used them in lieu of sinkers. It did the trick. My line traveled far enough, but the shell coasted gently beneath the water and didn't harm any corals. O ha?

I had so much fun and they took care of me so well (kasi wala namang ibang guest).

Then when it was all over, I was back to my usual snarly self. Hay. I think I should listen to the call of the wild na and buy my farm. I'm no longer happy in this city.

Ssssssshhhhh....

I'm waiting for a bite.
I'm on my way to Guimaras.
The training went fine.
This time, I'm going to commune with nature.
Fishing....haaaayy. Fishing.
Dis is da layf!
(Dalawang araw lang naman).
Saka ko na sasagutin ang mga posts niyo. Pramis.
Haaay. Isda. Isda. Araw. Quiet. Fishing.
(Pag walang nagpahuling isda, iitsahan ko sila ng dinamita).

McCain, you idiot!

Dear Mr. McCain,

You idiot. The rule is, you don't. You don't make unnecessary enemies while campaigning for the White House, especially if it includes one surnamed Hilton, first name Paris. You nincompoop!

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

You just made her look smart. The Pink House. Dang.

Here's the offending McCain ad.



This should go down in history as one of the most ludicrous, harebrained campaign ad. One that doesn't win support, but like, totally, guarantees hordes of pink-clothed enemies. Like, you know, her fans????

McCain, you're so not fit to be in the White House.

Sssshhhhhh....

Out of town ako. May training. Iba pa ang nakasalang sa session kaya puwede akong magsingit ng ilang lines.

At nakatatlo na akong sinungitan mula kanina. At may tatlong araw pa kaming sessions. Susmaryosep. Heaven help me.

Example:
Atticus: Miss, pakisabi sa engineering kailangan namin ng microphone.
OJT: Sales po?
Atticus: Aaaaarrrggghhhh!

Isa pa:
Atticus: Hi. Kailangan kong makausap kung sino ang in charge sa conference room namin.
OJT: (Loooong Ilonggo or Bisaya paragraphs).
Atticus: Hindi ko maintindihan. Paki-Tagalog please.
OJT: (Loooong Ilonggo or Bisaya paragraphs).
Atticus: O sige, maghapon tayo rito. Hihintayin kong mag-Tagalog ka para magkaintindihan tayo.

At nabanggit ko bang halos isang oras dumating ang order para sa almusal na tatlong klase lang naman ang pagpipilian?

First day. First day pa lang.....*hikbi*

Blue sneakers

Of course it's a scary world. People can be scary, especially if they all like you all at once and you like them back and you're open and raw.

Heck, even the animal kingdom is scary. I am scared of single-celled creatures because I cannot see them and chances are, some of them might be swimming in my glass of water right now. Gulp.

But I am also scared of creatures that were created out of cells that fused, especially if it is a human male and I like him and he likes me back. It becomes too confusing for my simple mind.

But life is an adventure. The other side of things is we become too scared to even turn the door knob and venture out, and we end up financing the practice of psychiatrists who give our disease a long name too complicated to pronounce properly.

Even Nemo and his neurotic dad had to be brave, but there's always a Dory, a Gill or a Bloat to help us through.

It is scary when you start to feel, when too many people make you a part of their life. To my often autistic mind, all the varied emotions are a noise that can be deafening, dizzying.

But the "noise" and their source make life colorful and fun. It's being human. Live away!