Out of the myriad of emotions a human being is blessed – or cursed – with, it’s the attraction to another human being, that thing we call love, that's probably the most complex. Scientists have the comfort – or curse - of explaining it away based on optical and olfactory triggers and the chemical reactions the body undergoes when romantically or sexually attracted to another human being. Church men and women can take to the pulpit and explain it away using a 3,000 year example of unconditional love, which they keep on reminding us we must emulate. (About that, why is it that in my years of going to church, no one talked about the erotic passages in the Songs of Solomon? We just got an unhealthy dose of warnings about sex like it is a bad thing.)
It’s Valentine’s day so forgive me for taking a respite from the usual inanities. (I am also tired of interviewing and writing about the recent political shenanigans, so please, grant me this moment to be inane. If you want to see the political stuff I've written lately, visit our official website).
A friend has this incurable infatuation with this guy for months now. I’ve been coercing (I’m done persuading) her to just admit it to the guy, to end her suffering. It’s against her nature, she tells me, and proceeds to shriek as she imagines it.
When Da Kevin told me I was in love with him, I sort of stood up, yelled something venomous which I think went like this: “You jerk! You pompous bastard! Yada-yada-yada!”
That I had to be told how I felt means he had to sort my emotions out for me, because I really was a mess, not knowing what it was I felt. And I was making him miserable. He was able to calm me down, (with a lot of snickering, which made me more annoyed) and with logic finally taking over, I asked what he would do if he we traded emotions. “I’d enjoy the feeling,” he said.
Days later, while taking his shoes off, he casually said something like “And with me falling in love with you like this I think I have to start thinking whether I still want this job…”
And so I was in love. For something like a few weeks. It was great while the emotion and the high it gave me lasted. But I love him still and he will always be a part of my life.
Falling in love is something I find hard to do. Staying in love long enough to commit is another unimaginable hurdle I have yet to pass.
But here’s the thing: I believe in love being able to conquer all. I believe in soulmates, a partner made just right for each of us. I believe the mere presence of my man when I come home can make things right. I believe a hug from him can make all the bad things go away. I believe in having a man in my corner at all times.
I believe couples can fall in love at first sight. Then fall out of it, but remain in that loving relationship because they have bonded more permanently, more calmly.
Being in love is temporary insanity. Loving someone with all your heart, constantly believing love will tide you both over the rough patches in life, despite the snoring, despite the small irritating things, is permanent partnership perfected.
I believe that when my soulmate comes along, the vow that starts with “to have and to hold, from this day forward…” will sound just right, and comforting. And I won’t be looking for the clause “until further notice” at the end of it before I sign.
Happy Valentine’s day, whatever that means. Enjoy, nay, savor, the insanity. It won’t’ last that long. But like all else, this too, is a part of life we should not miss out on.
Let's get out of our comfort zone and be stupid. Fall in love.
