On Nephews

Tiger is bent on becoming a soldier. He wants to be a Navy Seal.

Father disagrees. Mother disagrees. Grandmother disagrees. I disagree with all of them. He's my nephew, so he's stubborn. It's in our DNA. He'll cling to the idea so I might as well support him.

I've tried NOT to tell him that he'll have a dodo for commander in chief, that blundering, blumbering idiot named Dubya who keeps on saying nuc-ye-lar. I think he'll be deployed in Iraq if he starts training soon. How do you tell your nephew that it's okay to be confused about his life's directions at 18, but you want him to see him get out of it intact, all limbs accounted for?

"Oh, honey, are you sure that's what you want?" I say, hoping the long distance crackle would hide the panic. Yeah, I'm cool. I'm the cool family you have, honey. I won't scream and shout or bug or nag you like the rest. I'm the one who'll spend time with you until everything's been talked out and over.

I hope in the end, he chooses well. If it's soldiering he wants, I gotta let 'em be. In the end, he has to live his life the way he wants to.

I need a hug, CJ. I hope to hug you soon and see your eyes smile when your lips do. You who think it's normal to say "Ay, ohkinamon" when you drop something.

YM exchanges

I buzzed him again, my friend who was busy, for the nth time. I too, had something to write, right in front of me, but words were escaping me. I didn't know how to proceed. So I buzzed him again.

FRIEDFRIEND:
susme. m so busy gusto ko mambatok ng journalist

ME:
susme. i'm so having a hard time writing this article gusto kong manapak ng vet.

FRIEDFRIEND:
Huwag mo na ituloy yan...babanatan nyo na naman ang taga-gobyerno

ME:
na maliit ang suweldo. na nagtratrabaho sa gobyerno.
na puno ng tsismisan ang opisina.
ooops. sorry. nai-type ko na.

He logged off, pissed. For some miraculous reasons, I was able to finish the nine-page, multi-source article hours after that.

I Interrupt My Regular Programming....

Buong yabang ko pong ipinakikita ang latest na litrato ng aking tatlong taong gulang na pamangkin. Pasensiya na, ha? Pare-pareho lang naman tayong naniniwalang pinakapogi o pinakamaganda sa balat ng lupa ang ating mga pamangkin, at makikipaghabulan tayo ng itak kapag may kumontra. (Oo, banta iyon.)

Cute ng mata niya. Mana sa akin. (O, tandaan ang banta!)

The Dodo Watches Grey's Anatomy

E di ba nga, duwag ako sa doktor? E di ba nga, ayoko ng doktor? E bakit ako nanonood ng Grey's Anatomy? Kasi naputulan ako ng cable. Bumili ako ng sangkaterbang series (seriesesssss) para malibang pag-uwi ng bahay. Kasi ayokong manood ng free TV. puro kasi soap. Hindi ako maka-relate. Nakakabobo. Nakakainsulto rin.

Heniwey, wala pang season 2 and 3 ng Dr. House. Wala pa ring matinong season 2 ng Heroes. Sinubukan ko ang Grey's Anatomy. Grabe. Everyone sleeps with everyone. Si Dr. McSteamy, parang karinderyang bukas sa lahat ng may barya. Parang pag kinati, kailangang kamutin ng kahit na sino o kahit na anong may dalawang paa. May ganoon bang ospital? Puro sexy at hot ang mga intern? Tsk. Wala akong itulak-kabigin sa mga lalaking doktor. Lahat gusto kong kabigin. Wala akong gustong itulak. Syet. Puwet pa lang, ulam na.

Pero tingin ko lugi ako. Kasi lahat ng surgery scenes, o basta may usapan tungkol sa sakit, fast forward ako hanggang mawala ang scenes na may dugo. Ayoko ring marinig ang mga salitang cancer, bleeding internally, heart valve replacement, hip surgery, blood transfusion.

Dapat, kalahati lang ang ibinayad ko rito. Tsk. Lugi ako. Binili ko ang 24 episodes sa halagang P50.

On Writing and Home Provinces

The news reached me today. I don't know whether I should be happy or sad. I don't know if I did the right thing. Should I have let sleeping dogs lie? I just knew it had to be written.

So he lost.
He blames me for it.
And my high school classmates who work with him are not too pleased with me, either.
I would have wanted to retire here.
Now I know I won't be able to do that.

And now you know who I am.

Hmmmm.....

With the interview over, I stand and get my bag. He grabs my car key from my hand and he fingers the car logo on it. Irrevent move, a bit higher than the par for the course, but I decided to let it pass.

HIM: See? You drive an expensive car. I'm guessing you drive a Samurai?

ME: No, I have a Jiminy da Cricket. And it's not as expensive as the car you own.

HIM: You media people should also be under scrutiny for your wealth.

ME: Believe me, I can be accused of unexplained poverty.

HIM: No, really, you should also be transparent, if you are to ask us about our wealth as a matter of public right.

ME: I work hard for it, I deserve my car. I earn thrice more than you do on a monthly basis. And if I take on a headwriting job, I will earn another round of your salary. Of course, these are on the basis of papers we can get. Some political transactions are not on paper, so no comparison there, really.

HIM: But who checks on you, media people?

ME: Our name is our currency. If I do something shady, no one will hire me, which is not a rule for politicians. We get paid by the network or paper or whatever outfit we work with. Unlike you, we do not use taxpayers' money.

HIM: I only have an entry level Sedan for a car. Your car's more expensive.

ME: (Pissed off) Don't do this, please. Your car is not a sedan. I have a picture. It's an SUV.

HIM: (He reddens, smiles, and gives me back my car key) You're joking.

ME: Your car's plate number ends with a 6 and a 3, and it's not a sedan. I'll email you a picture I took of it months ago, right after you bought it. And oh, by the way, you forgot to include it in your Statement of Assets and Liabilities. Now, let me buy you coffee on my salary, not on taxpayer's money?

HIM: You're not mad at me?

ME: Not really. I know it's tough to be asked those questions, but you should understand it comes with your territory. I'm used to politicians getting mad at me, but my car and car key are sacred. Don't touch it again.

HIM: I'm sorry. Well, I guess you have to give me time to get used to it.

ME: You've already had three years. And in three years time, you will get more of the same. Just don't shoot the messenger. And don't lie. We can smell it a mile away.

HIM: Okay. Are we still a go for coffee?

ME: Yes. And I promise there won't be poison in it.

HIM: Then I'll drink it.

We laugh and head out of his office.

(This is fiction. I just needed to write something to while the time away while I wait for the coffee to brew)

Chew on This

Someone sent me this. I agree with everything written here, especially rule number 9.

I am not sure if the words are really Bill Gates', but since these are fairly good pieces of advice, I think it's worth sharing.


Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1 : Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2 : The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6 : If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7 : Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rainforest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8 : Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9 : Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.