Sex, Love and Pigs

I've been getting hammered lately. For some cosmic, yada-yada reasons, various social groups to which I belong have been asking me the same question lately.

Why the heck am I not married yet?

And so, to end all questions...

Ladies and gentlemen...here's the answer:
I JUST WANT A SAUSAGE. WHY THE HELL SHOULD I LIVE WITH A PIG?

Don't Look Back in Anger

Whadda??? Dang!!!

It's my corner. It's my restaurant. Don't you notice it's just three blocks away from my place? That it's 20 minutes away from yours? Go find your own! This is a city of over 16 thousand hectares. Go find another restaurant in your own side of this huge city.

You just don't matter anymore. You are no longer my friend. I don't even remember anything good about you.

You - the nasty things you said and did - made sure of that.

And I'm not looking back in anger. I'm looking at you with indifference.

In the immortal words of Tom Petty, Don't Come Around Here No More.

Carving Mountains

With the death of Julia Campbell, some people question the soundness of her decision to go hiking in Batad.

In the seventies, Sagada and its surrounding areas were a playground of insurgents and government troops. The people of Sagada, fed up with the violence, decided to declare their community a peace zone. It worked. Peace surrounded even the nearby areas. Tourists, local and foreign, swarmed there every summer. Some rent rooms long-term to get some writing work done. The locals have learned they can earn by guiding first-timers.

These days, there is a bond between people who have explored the area. Perhaps it's knowing that all of you shared the same view and the feeling brought on by nature's intense beauty. Those who have trekked there happily share tips and hotel information to those who are just about to embark on the journey up north. Beauty is meant to be shared.

Trekking, alone or in groups, is how you go there. You can't be alone - there are others who may be going the same way. In Sagada and Batad, strangers become friends. This is a place where you let your guard down, this is a place where the ways of the cities are not the norm.

And then worship the rice terraces and pay homage to the hardy men who carved mountains with their bare hands and had the imagination to build something to solve a farming problem, an engineering feat that future generations will marvel at.

Unfortunately, some in the current, supposedly more civilized and educated generation would rather blame tragic events to victims who sought to enjoy what others before us created.

Nanggigigil pa rin ako sa argumentong pobreng bansa tayo kaya hindi tayo dapat maglakad mag-isa sa mga kaparangan.

Binata na Siya

I don't think he'll make me a grandma yet. He says he will go to college and have a career and a house and a Jaguar first.

*sigh*

more good news, please.

Sex and Love: The Fighting Fish Version

I went to the mall today to buy John Travolta* his proper home, a cheap fish bowl. Since Snugly said I should find him a mate, I tried looking for one Olivia Newton John. The salesman said they only have males. I hied off to the next pet shop, and they only had males, too.

It turns out John is not meant to live and copulate with an Olivia. And so we had about a quarter of an hour of session on "Educating a Dodo on the Life and Times of a Siamese Fighting Fish."

1, John is making bubbles because it is a sign he is ready to mate if an Olivia is around.
2. If there's an Olivia around, she will lay her eggs and John will make sure it goes to the bubbles he made so it is fertilized.
3. Olivia will have to be taken out of the fish bowl because John may be neurotic and may hurt her. (Sounds like some couples I know. Coitus then world war ensues)
4. After two to three days, the "fighting fishlets" move out of the bubble and are ready to face the world.
5. John will have to be taken out of the fish bowl because he may feed on his young (I've seen humans like that on TV under the heading "incest")
6. The "fighting fishlets" are fed unnatural food, because there's no natural food around for them. (Baby humans are also fed unnatural food. Those that come with all those alien-sounding vitamins) In their normal no-glass environment, they feed on insect and insect larvae.
7. There are no females for sale because breeders want to keep their business going.

They are called Siamese Fighting Fish because they originally came from Siam, the name by which Thailand was called in the olden days. And no, I wasn't walking the earth yet when Thailand was still Siam, Angel.

*Angelfire said I should call my fish John Travolta if it survives a week. Staying alive.

Ahem Ahem Ahem

After being unable to work at home because of the burglary, I've decided to end my "poor me" stage and decided to get even. Don't know with who. Wateber. Hueber.

Introducing...(drum roll please) MY NEW LAPTOP. A Mac Pro II. It's so nice to computer dodos like me.

I bought this with Angel in tow. Nagmamaktol, nagpapapadyak, nagtititili at nagda-drama ng "But you work so hard you deserve a Mac!" nang seryoso ko nang tinitingnan ang isang laptop na singbagal ni Speedy the Snail bago magbukas ng anumang programa.

Come to think of it. I earn with my computers. My cameras. Hmmm, I deserve better nga naman.

SELOS

Hindi ko anak si Tiger. Pamangkin lang. Unang pamangkin. Pers lab. Idol ako nito. Wala akong maling magagawa sa mata niya. Sumisigaw siya dati sa tuwa pag umuuwi ako sa kanila pag weekend. Lagi pa rin siyang nakayakap sa akin pag nagkikita kami. Hagalpak kami lagi ng tawa pag magkasama. May sarili kaming lengguwahe. Kami lang dalawa ang nagkakaintindihan.

Pero sa litratong ito, parang gusto kong humawak na itak at habulin ang mga mahaderang babaeng ito. Syet. Mama na siya, hindi na bata. Bibigyan na yata ako ng apo. Haaaay.



Asan ba iyong samurai ng nanay niya?

Fishing

I remember growing up in the provinces and dreading Holy Week when you're barred from playing and laughing and you're given those deadly stares and you're not given food if you make so much noise and you're called "hudyo" like it's a bad thing. Black Friday was the day you can't play and you can't take a bath and in hot Zambales, that's real punishment indeed. I sound old but I don't think people do that still because these days people hit the beach during Holy Week and it's like Christmas now.

I didn't go to my usual hideaway this time because a lot of people I know now know where it is and they are often there and I don't want to see people I know in MY beach.

So I went fishing and it was frustratingly easy the fish just kept biting and people were pissed at me because they can't get any but I've been reeling it in like crazy. No one was there to take pictures so I asked a kid to pose with one of my catch instead and he was pissed at me too because he'd been at it for hours and couldn't get any.

Then before I drove home I saw they were selling fish and since my plants are still alive I thought it would be nice to move up to the next living thing a fish. I left home this morning and it was still alive but I'm worried it won't be when I come home because it seems it doesn't like the fish food I bought, the nice round ones that float then sink hours later and make the water look hazy.

My fish has no name yet and people say I should find a name for it because all pets have names but I wonder if my fish can be considered a pet because it doesn't growl or make a sound it just lays on the bottom of the glass all the time pretending to be dead.

Nice Guys

Wonder who's the most pogi among them. Tiger is my first love. That doesn't mean I love Brian and CJ less. Brian is the jealous type. Tiger is serious. They're both good in math and science.

Lately, Tiger banned Brian from his room. Brian keeps messing his things up. Brian is not really a slob, he just has his own idea when to clean his room.

CJ? He's the current domestic tyrant. He beats up his Kuya Brian. I never thought Brian can be so patient and forgiving. When I visited them, Brian was the resident brat. I guess we all grow up when there are younger people around us.

To think that Tiger and Brian threatened to commit hara kiri when they learned that their mom was pregnant with another boy. But since CJ was born, the two kept constant watch over their "ading."
And for a change, Brian loves being called "kuya."

I'll visit them this year.

Why Me?

courtesy www.cartoonstock.com

I was almost done rechecking my article.
My car key fell so I bent down to pick it up.
I saw his hand holding his dong.
His computer screen was full of naked women.
That's it!
I'm never going to work in an internet cafe ever again.
I'm buying a cheap laptop.