This Made me Smile

Tiger's my first love. I used to cry buckets when the weekend's over and I have to go to work.

CJ loves his Kuya so much he behaves like a sad puppy when his Kuya Tiger is in school.

Weekend Stuff

I love my two day weekends. It's been sooooo long since I've lived my life with two glorious days off work.

I was able to take Jiminy da Cricket to Pampanga again yesterday. His KM reading is now almost 5,000. (After nine months, that is a pathetic record) Then I asked my friend from the neighborhood car wash business to give my car a bath. Hmmm. MY CAR. It feels great to be able to write that down. I've been wanting to have a car for ages. Kapag may tiyaga, may kotse.



I'm planning to spend more time with Jiminy da Cricket early next year, before I take on my new job. One whole week of driving. I think I'll drive up to Isabela. Angel, pakihanda ang bagong car key chain.

Sama ka, Friedwater? Ay, huwag na.

Ayaw mong ibigay ang manibela sa akin.

Of Fathers and Sons and Daughters

"Perhaps we all want to follow our fathers..."

This was the last line in the HBO movie I'm watching (listening to).

Dad's death anniversary was last Saturday, November 18. The pieces of the puzzle are slowly getting together, but not enough for a conclusion.

I agree with the last line. Fathers determine the strength and integrity of children. A son wants to be like his dad, daughters look for their fathers in the men they date.

Well, at least I do.

Some of my male friends are scared of having daughters. Afraid probably, that their daughters will date men like them. I just tell them to treat their wives right, and be the man their daughters will look for in the men they will date. It always starts, and ends, at home.

My dad told me stories. He threatened the thunders with his shotgun and assured me he and his shotgun are going to keep watch so I can sleep. He took me to walks when he sensed I was bored. He held my hand. He made me step on his feet to teach me how to dance. He wrote down his plan for me, and I was able to read it.

My dad treated me so well.
A man will have to beat that.

Hapi Tots Naman

We get together at least four times a year to know what the others are doing. We used to work together in that network in what I called "The Independent Republic of Novaliches." The traffic makes you think of world peace, seriously. Some are married now. Some now have kids. We're all mares and pares several times over. May nag-give up na at nag-impake na ng maleta para tumira sa US. Jonjon is everyone's favorite cameraman. There were times I had to literally yank him off coverages because he won't stop shooting. And his shots were so dang good.
Malayo na kami sa panahon na napupuno namin ng sigaw ang newsroom dahil may kailangang itakbo para humabol sa ere. Nagpi-PA ako every Friday pag tapos ko nang i-voice at i-edit ang story ko, para matutunan ko iyong trabaho ng iba. Natuto akong mag-collate ng scripts na 12 copies each page. And they all had fun bossing me around.

Then we'd play pool and celebrate the end of the work week.

NOTE TO ATTICUS

That mother****ing pseudo-mega educated scum of the earth you had to deal with today is not the last.

There will be others like that low life living in that upscale enclave for the filthy rich. Right now, that monster is breathing high society.

But life is not made of just one day.

There will be other days.

Why I Love Kevin

It's Kevin's birthday. As always, he's somewhere in this planet where there's no internet or phone connection, and I miss him like hell.

I love the way we talk - from carabaos that do nothing but wallow in the mud and fly on Thursdays, to the theories on why our economy is on a rut.

I love the way we dance, be it in some pool hall in full view of the public or while waiting for an elevator.

I love the way we fight - no name-calling, just a barrage of facts and arguments.

I love the way he panics and scolds me when I write things carelessly. (Do you really have to write that part? or Were you really thinking when you wrote it? Give it to me so I can edit it!)

I love the way he held my hand and told me "I will not let anything bad happen to you" when I was worried about the late night boat ride we were going to take. I felt safe, and I still think of that whenever I feel at risk.

I love the way he is uninformed of some things - like why some gay men choose to cut off everything male in them.

I love the way he handles things when I am furious - he talks calmly and draws out the hurt then apologizes for it and I can see he really means it.

I love the way I handle it when he's furious - at me, mostly - I laugh and consider it silly. I have never responded to his anger in kind.

I love the way he thinks of me - like computer stuff without asking for it, or some small items and a note every morning.

I love the way he adjusts to my idiosyncracies - like the mandatory long hug before we face the world separately, and turning all the lights off while watching TV because I just want candles, thank you.

I love him because unlike other guys I've dated - he makes me think.

I think, at one time or another, we all meet a person we love and want to be with the rest of our lives, heck, till hell freezes over. To some it happens. To some, it doesn't. I said goodbye early this year, because for a dream to come true, it must be mutual.

But I am blessed for the love and now, the friendship.

Happy Birthday, Kevin!

What's With Elmo?

Nakita lang sa mall...

Hindi na niya pinakawalan.

Marami naman siyang Elmo sa bahay.

Huwag Mong Hanapin

Huwag mong hanapin ang di mo pinaghirapan
Wala kang karapatan.
Huwag mong singilin ang walang kinalaman
Sa di pagsikat ng araw.

Hungkag ang mundo sa paningin mo
Dahil walang nagpapaligaya sa iyo.

Sa malamig na hangin, samyuin mo ang pangako
Ng mas maiging mundo.
Yakapin mo ang ginaw, hintayin mo ang araw.
Yapusin mo ang lamyos ng dahon at hangin
Na dala ng bawat umaga.

(Wala lang. Di ko alam. Tambak ako ng gagawin pero parang kailangan kong isulat ito. Okay, back to work na ako. Maya ulit!)

Friday Night Lesson

I had dinner with a friend tonight. I had sizzling tuna. Over dinner we talked about our lives. I told her about friends who sometimes measure me by doing mental math on what I own, the position I have in the office, what I wear, where I spent my Holy Week vacation.

I have a very simple barometer.

I can afford to eat a whole fish now.
I can buy my brothers fish of their own.
I can afford a second helping of whatever I want.
Ice on my drink is natural, not a reason to celebrate.
I can buy books no matter how expensive, and consider it an investment.
Newspapers are no longer a luxury, but a part of the job.
I don't have to borrow clothes.
I can buy shoes, if I have the inclination.

But there are things that balance it off.

I still have to count it.
(A rich man once told me, when I asked him how rich he was that "If I still have to count it, I don't have it." I have very little to count to lose count.)
I have yet to build my dream house.
I have yet to travel the world.
I have yet to have a library where friends can find their most sought-after books.

Then there was one scene tonight that humbled me.

After I drove my friend home, I dropped by a convenience store to buy cigarets. As I parked Jiminy Da Cricket, my headlights shone on a man and a little boy sleeping on the curb. Their faces were greasy, and a bath seemed like a distant memory.

Homeless people. I still do not understand what brought you there. There are laws against you. But I will not write about you until I know, until I understand, what brought you there. You are a complex issue that an idiot like me should spend time to understand.

I know you are a result of our collective failure. That much I know. No one chooses to live the life you have.

To blame you and call you names is an injustice to your mother.

I hope the pack of bread solved a temporary problem.

Fita Kid

He gives his Kuyas a piece each.
Then he sits on the can to make sure his brothers do not eat 'em all.
It's been this way since he was a todder.
Brian is 12, Tiger is 17. A small kid has gotta be smart to survive in the jungle.
Then he smiles like a winner.

Ito ang Batang Fita.
(Ewan ko kung bakit meron nito sa Florida. Pero lumaki siya sa Fita.)

Flea Market Scenes

I took these today.

A dad and his son.

A kid and his tank.

Things I Learned Today

That syota is a contraction of "short time." Kaya girls, huwag papayag matawag na syota.

That the guy who washes Jiminy da Cricket is now 22 and he left Mindoro when he was 17 to have an "adventure" in Manila.

That there are people who do not know it's impolite to stare at the ATM monitor while you are making a withdrawal.

That gays like me because while I am tomboyish most of the time, I am really a girl at heart. (Punyeta sila!)

That I love sunsets and sunrises and would try to see both each day.

That my friends from the beat days are surprised I've remained an idiot, uncaring of how I dress up (down, most of the time) and that I still do outrageous things, like driving to La Union alone to see the grapes there.

That Friedwater was right when he said I should block off both lanes when maneuvering from a parking slot, because it is safer. (At least here in Manila, when other drivers sneak up on while aiming for the right lane you because they refuse to wait)

That there are some drivers in Manila who still acknowledge your yielding with a smile, a honk and a wave.

That there are gays who hate screaming gays because it "makes us more vulnerable to the parlorista stereotype."

That even the most educated have the most moronic of views.

That decades of friendship can go down the drain because of ego.

That harried baristas in Starbucks laugh out loud when you write down "Darna" on your order slip and you let them yell out your supposed name a couple of times.

"Elvis" is still the best name to call your waiter if you don't know his name.

That my books are the first thing I consider while I am looking for a bigger apartment.

That making a loud, crashing noise in your tiny room can make an abusive husband downstairs stop the beating.

That battered wives can make the most convincing arguments to deny the problem, despite the sound of slaps and slamming doors you hear in the wee hours of the morning.

My relatives often ask me to do something unethical, but my good friends never do.

I've lost a couple of relatives for refusing the favors they ask of me, and will keep on losing some.

That I revel at the success of my friends because I have this faith that their good fortune is my blessing, too.

That I love Miranda Priestly because she gets things done fifteen minutes before she reaches the office.

That yes, horses can swim.

I am stronger than I think. (Most of the time)

He's Tall but Thin

And his eyes will be huge forever. At kakulay ko siya. He'll turn three in January, but people think he's five because of his height.

Just over a year ago, he looked like this.
Small and cuddly.

Now he smells like one of 'em called The Great Unwashed.