Bagong Taon Na!

Ang 2006 ang taon kung kailan yayaman tayong lahat!!!!!

Best Friends, All These Years

Been dreading hooking up with them the past few days. Call it dodging. Evading. Avoiding. Ducking.

"I had an argument with my mom on Christmas eve," best friend Mina says. "And it's all because I can't trace you," she says.

Duh?

"You should know by now that we'd understand all your inanities and idiosyncracies and the troubles you get yourself into," says best friend Bunny. "Pero pag pinaiyak ka ng tanginang lalaking iyan, papatay ako."

Duh?

"I'm glad to see you okay and smiling, wherever it was you spent Christmas" says best friend R. She was tipped off by someone in the office. But I did not confirm nor deny.

Mina has been my best friend for, darn, 15 years or so? Bunny for 12. R for 14. One male, two females. Two married, one single. The best of ALL worlds.

None of them know where it is I hie off during the holidays.

"I was in ----. I just wanted to be away," I say. Fill in the blanks. Every year, it changes.

"Bro, tumatanda na tayo. Luma na iyang kung saan-saan ka nagtatago pag Pasko. Magsabi ka lang kung nasaan ka," Mina says.

"Bro, sa klase ng trabaho mo, baka na-ambush ka na, walang makakalam," Bunny says.

Nananakot ba itong mga ito, o nag-aalala lang? Di na ako humirit. Nagsesermon sila e. Baka di matapos ang yada-yada ng mga ito hanggang 2007.

**********

"Try not to be so jealous with A (the girlfriend) anymore, okay?" says best friend Bunny.

Duh?

"I am jealous when you tell me you're in love, but I withhold judgment of the guys you like, so do the same thing for me, please" he says.

Been so nasty with the girls he dated. Puro kasi bimbo. The latest has been the best so far, and they've been dating for two years.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Bro," he says. "I love you. Always will. Best friend kita, kahit tangna, ang negra mo!"

With Confidence

(With the confidence of a child so loved)

In 2006, I promise I will:

1. Allow myself to fall in love and enjoy and embrace the experience, from the silly to the soap opera moments involved, and banish all the fears and doubts that controlled me the past years
2. Buy me a car
3. Enjoy the fruits of my labor every now and then without feeling guilty
4. Travel to an island I haven't visited before and go fishing there
5. Travel to a country I haven't visited before
6. See CJ and the boys in Florida (before they're old enough to get married)
7. Ignore the inanities of my mother and my sister's efforts to treat me like a 12-year old still
8. Submit something for the Palanca (the Pulitzer and Nobel will have to wait)
9. Write investigative piece/s for print
10. Write for a TV soap
11. Smile more often and not lose it when handed a very bad script
12. Walk away from my job when it starts to consume me again and rob me of my time for sleep, friendships and education.

This is a draft. It looks too "me-centered" but heck, that's what you have when you live alone. If I get married or pregnant - whichever comes first - of course it will mean revisions.

The past twelve months have been a blessing. God loves me. He really loves me.

This year, I will have more music. More funny moments. More time for hugs. More time for walks. More time for fishing. More time for reading. More time for pictures. More hope. More time to think. More time to improve my skills. More time for friends.

Cobwebs and Tartols and Lions !@#!*?

Okinnawa, Japan! Ang gulo ng isip ko.
Sana kapitbahay ko ang mga mokong na ito.
Magandang pangitain. Magandang tanawin.
(Kung nothing between the ears, sana huwag na lang magsalita. Ngumiti na lang sila)

Wala na naman akong sense.

Alam mo, tatlong araw na akong nagigising na may kanta sa panaginip.
Punyemas. Mga kantang gawa-gawa ko habang tulog.
Puwede pala iyon? Ni hindi naman ako marunong kumanta.
Kung may kailangan kang i-torture at paaminin ng anumang krimen, pakantahin mo ako.
Kahit pagpatay kay Abel, aaminin niya, tumigil lang ako.

Alam mo bang ang mga lions, kapag mating season, they have sex every 20 minutes? Hindi sila kumakain. Mga limang araw lang naman.
The male stays with the female the whole mating season, to make sure the cubs are his.
Then he helps raise the cubs. A decent trait lacking in some human males.

Ang cute ng mga tartols.
Cute din iyong baby elephant. Nangangalabit para bigyan mo ng pagkain. Tapos niyakap niya ako.

Kung akala mo may pupuntahan ang entry na ito, wala. Nag-aalis lang ako ng cobwebs sa utak.

Okinnawa, Japan. Ang gulo ng isip ko.

Battle of the Brats

Sino ang mas brat? Ayaw siyang ibili ng mommy niya. Ang sagot ng paslit?

Doon na lang daw siya titira sa shelf.
(Disiplinado ako kahit nang bata pa lang ako. Pramis! Maniwala ka.)

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Be good, for goodness' sake. (Santa Claus)

Huwag Mo Nang Itanong

(I don't know!)
Tatlong taon mong di nakita. Puro emails at tawag lang.
Ngayon magkikita ulit kayo.
"Negra, mahal mo pa ba?" tanong ni bespren. Sa lahat naman ng maitatanong, sana huwag iyon. Masyadong tugma sa iniisip.
"Tangna, malay ko," sabi ko.
I'll burn the bridge when I get there.
Mali pala. I'll cross the bridge when I get there.
Pero sa likod ng isip ko, sana hindi na.
Ang layo niya.
At hindi lang geography ang sinasabi ko.

Unhinged

In a couple of days, she's going to walk down the aisle and marry the man of her dreams.

While shopping for things engaged people buy, she receives a text message from an unknown number.

"If you want to know more about the man you will marry, go to this address. NOW. It will make you change your mind."

She finds the address. Sees her boyfriend's car parked outside. Puts her finger on the doorbell. Her shirtless boyfriend opens the door. Behind him is a pretty young thing. She silently walked away.

"I meant to end it after our wedding," he says.

.....?

Matanong Ko Lang

(CJ and his usual date, Cindy)

Kapag nabibisto ba ang mga lalaki sa pambababae, pangangaliwa, pangangalunya o kung ano man ang tawag doon, ano ang nagpapahirap sa kalooban nila?

a) pag-iimbento ng lusot
b) kahihiyan sa babaeng labs daw nila
c) takot na mawalan ng kredibilidad sa labs daw nila
d) takot na lagi na silang babantayan
e) "hindi ako makaka-iskor mamaya"
f) "manliligaw na naman ako nito. gastos!"

Kapag cool lang ang babae, hindi nagalit at sinabihan lang sila na huwag nang uulitin, ano ang iniisip nila?

1) cool! di ko na papakawalan ang girl na ito!
2) naku, baka gantihan ako
3) ang tanga naman nito
4) hindi niya ako talaga mahal
5) kung ito lang ang magiging problema, uulit pa ako
6) siguro kinakaliwa ako ng babaeng ito

Seryoso ako. Pakisagot. Hindi ko maintindihan eh! Kahit babae, welcome mag-contribute.

Mind-Boggling Stupidities (Mine) Part II

In light of recent events, I have to update the previous entry and inflict additional shame on my name.

Me: Bro, let's go out today.
Best friend Mina: I'm still doing my laundry. Come over. I'll be done by the time you get here.
Me: Okay.
Two hours later:
BFM: Where the heck are you?
Me: Lost. Taxi.
BFM: You've been here a hundred times.
Me: I can't find my usual landmark. The Home Cable office.
BFM: It's now the Skycable office. But the same building.
Me: You didn't tell me they changed names!
BFM: The building's still there.
Me: Well, I got rattled.
BFM: Negra, ang tanga mo.


Best Friend Mina: So, have you tried out your new curtains?
Me: Not yet. I plan to put them up before Christmas.
BFM: But have you checked whether it fits?
Me: Errr...
BFM: Negra, it's been three weeks! What if they're too short and you need to return them?
Me: Errr....
BFM: Did you keep the receipt?
Me: Errr....
BFM: Negra, ang tanga mo.

I scramble downstairs and knock on Con's door.
Me: Ading, I can't find my cellphone.
Con: Let's go upstairs and I'll ring it up.
We go back to my place. She dials my number.
Something inside the fridge rings.
Con: Negra, ang tanga mo.

Mind-Boggling Stupidities (Mine)

(CJ enjoying a rare treat: ice cream yogurt. He says it's "sayang")

Ate: What are you cooking?
Me: Omelet for Brian.
Ate: Why is the fire so low?
Me: Natataranta ako, eh! (It makes me panic!)
Ate: Ading, they're just eggs. It needs strong fire so it will turn out fluffy.
Me: Can I just do it the way I'm used to?
Ate: Ading, Brian needs his breakfast now. Not tomorrow.
Our mother was busy doubling up in laughter. Poor Brian had a question mark on his forehead.
Brian: Auntie, why are they making fun of my omelet?
Me: Because I'm making it, honey. Because I'm making it.


Brother-in-law: You can't cook?
Me: (defensive) What are restaurants for?
He proceeds to introduce me to his friends. "This is my wife's sister. She can't cook."
Me: I CAN TYPE!
(I remembered these last night after I again came up with a barely edible dinner. And I was near tears.)

Me: Hello? I'd like to know if I can have my aircon unit returned for a smaller one.
Salesman: What's wrong with it?
Me: It's too big for the hole in the wall.
SM: You didn't measure the aircon slot?
Me: I thought they all come in one size.
SM: Your unit has a dent.
Me: It came that way.
SM: You didn't check it when it was delivered?
Me: No. I thought it was A-OK.


Me: Mond, my laptop crashed.
Techie Gay Friend: That's okay. Come over and I'll fix it for you. And bring the CDs with you.
Me: What CDs?
TGF: The CDs that came with the laptop?
Me: Errr....
TGF: You didn't keep them?
Me: Errr....
TGF: You need those. They're as important as your laptop!
Me: Errr....
TGF: You are the stupidest moron I've ever met.
Me: Errrr....I have blank CDs here.
TGF: Please, promise me you'll stay a mile away from my computer stuff for the rest of your natural life.

Pearls for Pigs

(CJ being taught how to pray. CJ plotting his next mischief. You choose)

"Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces." (Matthew 7:6).

"Ineng, nakilala mo na ba si Kristo?" the old cab driver asks me. (My child, do you know Christ?)

I groan inwardly. Not again. Not another one. I ignored the question and invited stiff neck by looking at the roadside view out the window. No one loved those poverty-laden scenes more than me at that moment.

He asked the question again, this time a decibel higher. I am beginning to really feel so irresponsible for not taking the big step towards my goal of buying my dream car.

"Sorry po, pero kahit Nanay ko hindi po ako tinatanong nang ganyan kapersonal na isyu. Nakakahiya naman po sa kanya kung sa ibang tao ko ididiskusyon," I said. (I'm sorry. My mother doesn' even ask me personal questions about my faith. It would be a slight to her if I discuss it with a stranger)

Despite my Nobel peace prize-winning moment, he doesn't give up. He launches into a tirade about how people (meaning, me) no longer go to church, how they see God only as a last resort. Yada. Yada.

When we reached the network's gate, he asks if he could share a prayer with me. I said no. He tried to look like the Good Samaritan rebuffed. I asked him to pray for me as he sees fit.

I am no pig. But I do resent how some people treat something so sacrosanct as the word of God as something they can use to judge others. How those who do not attend Sunday service are heathens who should be avoided if you love your soul.

I am no pig. But I do resent how some people treat something so sacrosanct as the word of God as something they can scream out loud (despite the microphone) on the streets of Cubao and then charge passersby for it.

I am no pig. But I do resent how some people treat something so sacrosanct as the word of God as a means to earn money from weary bus passengers whom they force to listen to them. And then they ask for the passengers' extra coins.

I am no pig. But I do resent how some people treat something so sacrosanct as the word of God as something they can use to be on TV, and to bilk the unknowing but believing and misled, multitude.

Faith is a personal matter. It is too damn personal to many. I am one of them.

God is everywhere. Rainbows after the rain. Small flowers on the trail up Mt. Arayat. Waterfalls of Mt. Fami. Fog in Mt. Cristobal. The view from the peak of Mt. Banahaw. The view from the my fishing perch in Guimaras. In every catch I make. In every Sunday set of flowers I buy at the Lung Center tiangge. In every minute I spend with my best friends. In every roar of laughter when I am with my best friends. In every story. In every person with a story to tell. In every work I set out to do. In every person who inspires me. In every co-worker who is a blessing. In every co-worker whose work is a blessing. In every new place I set out to visit and manage to do so, every year. In every goal I set for myself. In every evening I get home safe, my limbs complete. (This is Manila, for crying out loud!) In every failure that takes me to the right direction.

So stop preaching to me. In taxis, buses, or anywhere else. The Word is much too precious to be treated like that. You swine.

Krismas

(Again, I called social services to squeal on my sister)

Ang lamig ng tubig. Malamig ang simoy ng hangin. Pasko na.

Sa amin sa Zambales, parusa sa balat ang Pasko. Namumuti ang alak-alakan at lahat ng kasingit-singitan ng katawan mo dahil sa lamig ng hangin. At ang lakas din ang hagupit ng hangin mula sa South China Sea. Ang naimbentong panlaban ng mga kapatid ko: mantika. Wala kasing talab ang lotion.

May mga tartols na umaahon mula sa dagat, kumakandirit sa mga dalampasigan, at nag-iipot ng mga itlog. Tapos nenenokin ng mga mandarambong na may dalawang paa ang mga itlog.

Sa tabing kalsada at sa lahat ng sulok, nagkalat ang mga dahon na natanggal sa tangkay dahil sa lakas ng hangin. Kahit ang mga sinisigaang mga dahon, inililipad ng hangin. Humahaba tuloy ang tsismisan ng mga misis sa tabi ng kalsada.

Lahat na yata ng saplot sa kabinet, isinusuot mo dahil sa ginaw.

Ang aga magsara ng mga bahay. Resulta: marami ang ipinapanganak sa buwan ng Setyembre at Oktubre.

Pero ang sarap ng Pasko sa probinsiya. Kainis nga lang dahil lahat ng tao pag nakita ka, hihingan ka ng regalo. Parang nabili mo iyong Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas. O kaya pabibilhin ka ng iinumin nila para malasing.

Tapos pag nalasing, magwawala. Manghahamon ng away. Mambabato ng Victory Liner na dumadaan. May iiyak na mga misis, lola, ate, tiyahin. May pagtsitsismisan na naman sa tabi ng sinisigaang mga dahon bukas.

Teka. Hapi tots. Hapi tots. Kumandirit ulit tayo sa tanawin ng mga tartols sa ating mga isip. Masaya iyon.

CJ

(Ang matang tinubuan ng bata meets his match)

Ayan, labanan ng litrato ng pamangkin ang mga blog ngayon.

CJ got his name from two people: his dad and his demanding auntie, me. His dad was so in love with the name Courtney, and I am so damn in love with the first letter of my name. I don't care what the name would be, as long as it starts with a J. My sister decided to pitch in for world a peace, so she named him Courtney James.

CJ is now 22 months old. My brother-in-law says I should visit them again, or at least before CJ gets married. I intend to do so.

Para naman masabihan ko rin siya ng classic na sinabi ko sa mga kuya niya out of frustration: "Go to your room and don't come out till you're about to get married!"